Oreet Lads & Lasses, Dee here!
I’ve been wondering whether or not to write up about this. But it’s 2021, the year of saying whatever the f&#k we want.. So here I go. Have you ever experienced heartbreak? That rip your insides out and stamp on it type? The one where you feel like your insides are falling out of your arse and someone is repeatedly stabbing you in the chest? I’m with you.
While I would love to sit and slate the bastard that did it, that’s not what I’m here for. Being dumped, cheated on, heartbroken is not to be taken lightly. I never truly experienced heartbreak until a few months ago, and it turned my world upside down. The outside world looked different, felt different, sounded different. Every moment was filled with an old & painful memory, a sharp pain to the chest and a stomach in knots. You’re surrounded by a love filled bubble that you and this person created and when it gets popped, suddenly the security & love you were once surrounded by disperses into thin air. I thought I would never recover. But then I did. The thing with being heartbroken is that there is no proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. You hear all of the generics like “this will make you stronger”, “it will pass and you’ll feel better soon”, “you’ll find someone better”, those words often come from people you love but you struggle to hear them without wincing in disbelief. In those moment’s, no words, no one and nothing can take that pain from you. I am there with you my lovelies.
Let me tell you, I have been an utter dick in heartbreak. It turned me into someone I never thought I would be. You wanna judge that girl for sending endless text messages and begging for closure? Well there’s a big fat exclamation point above my head so direct all judgements towards me. I lost all dignity. But what can I say with complete conviction? I don’t regret it. I did and said everything I thought necessary at the time. I was never cruel, I was just unapologetically me and passionate in love. My advice for all of you suffering right now is to give yourself a bloody break, more often than not we reflect on what we could have done differently and I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter.
So what does matter, Dee? You ask. MOVING FORWARD, looking at the path ahead but all the while feeling the pain purge out of you. Remember in the sleepless nights and the tearful days when you feel the most hurt, you are rejecting the love you once had for that person. All that matters now is working through the grief and trusting that the waves of intense emotion will subside and what happens next is a work of art. When I finally stopped starting my day with tears and anxiety, I remembered how powerful and amazing I am. I lived a life without that person before, I will do it again.
It’s never easy, I know this because I’ve been here, but that cliché saying resonates – “it will get better” – It does and it will. Practice gratitude for the things you have because as long as you have air in your lungs you have something to be grateful for. A month or so into my break-up I went to bed every night and reflected on my day and what I liked about it. I did this for a matter of days before I realized how much good I have surrounding me, in friends, family and more importantly my Little Dee. Learn to be patient with you, compliment you and remind yourself of your best traits and how BEAUTIFUL you are because when you learn to love yourself you learn how many others love you as well. You will get through the pain and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. Trust in the process and keep looking forward, eventually you will find your proverbial light.
Love & Light