The time of year I love to hate. Social media becomes a reel of all the stupidly expensive presents fellas buy for their other halves (that they’ve been throwing hints about since Christmas but pretend to be surprised anyway) followed by cheesy chavvy hashtags like #LuckyGirl & #BoyDoneGood & #Pandora. Honestly I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon. Its the worst day of the year on social media, I absolutely fucking hate it with a burning passion….
Don’t get me wrong, I love to be in love, it’s the best feeling in the world, but to quote Daniel Sloss “We are in love with the idea of being in love”. We spend our time perfecting our timelines, news feeds & instastories to make sure everyone knows how in love we are with our other halves and we forget how to really love each other, for better or worse.
So, this ones for all the twisted, fucked up spinsters…. I’ve got your back
If you haven’t taken yourself on a date before now is the time! Taking yourself out on a date is all about spending quality time on your own to be alone with your thoughts or do something amazing that is just for you. Dating yourself is a powerful tool to utilize on your journey of self discovery and self love. By doing something just for you, you are affirming that you are worthy of the love in attention you often are giving only to others. Give yourself some guilt-free YOU time and do something special like going for a coffee and a cake, take a long walk, run yourself a rose petal bath, give yourself a massage (if you’re extra flexible – wink wink, nudge nudge) or simply do absolutely nothing. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter as long it is something you enjoy and is completely, 100% just for you.
Our resident spiritual guru, Dee, swears by self-love affirmations. Everything you think, feel and say is an affirmation. Those that are in need of positive, self-love affirmations often have a negative thought pattern when it comes to their thoughts about themselves. For instance, “I’m too fat”, “I’m ugly”, “I will be alone forever”. Flip that script and say some positive things about yourself. Words have power, and if you’ve ever read anything about the Law Of Attraction, you will already be aware of this concept. If you’re a newbie to the Law of Attraction and manifesting, the basic principle is whatever you think about your life and yourself will come into being in your physical reality. Even if you think it is a bunch of mambo-jumbo give it a try! Talk yourself up and you will be amazed!
Repeat these not just for valentines but everyday! Watch yourself transform into the glowing being you are affirming for. Use affirmations such as, “I am loved” “I am beautiful” “I am happy and secure with myself” – even going as far as “I am a bad fucking bitch and I OWN my fucking world”. Take the universe and put it under your thumb gorgeous, you deserve it.
Be Your Own Penpal
It’s difficult with modern distractions to really center and get to truly know yourself, and how can you love yourself if you don’t know yourself? Spend some quiet time with a journal and write yourself a letter. Okay, I know it sounds a little dear diaryish and I’m a grown-ass-woman, but I promise you will find parts of yourself that are otherwise hidden in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. For this to really work, you must be willing to be as open as possible. I often read back through my letter years on and see how much I’ve grown since they were written.
If writing a letter to yourself feels a bit silly, start a gratitude journal, anytime you think of something or someone in your life that you’re grateful for, keep track of it in your journal. When you are feeling a bit shit, it is hard to think of things in your life that you are grateful for and that is when the real power of this practice comes in. If you can’t think of anything it is written there for you in black in white.
Invest in a good pair of pj’s and some fluffy socks. There is nothing I love more than putting on a brand new pair of matching pj’s and fluffy socks. Something about a matching pair of pajamas really makes me feel that I have my shit together. Another one of my favourite things is diving into a bed with freshly weshed sheets with freshly shaved legs. It’s been one of my favourite things since I got my first bic razor as a teenager. Try it. You can thank me later.
If pj’s and fluffy socks aren’t your thing, treat yourself to something that is more you. Have you been eyeing up a new eyeshadow palette? some new hiking boots? A new book? Whatever your “thing” may be, treat yourself. Even if you’re low on funds there will always be something in your price range. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It can be as simple as going to Primark and stocking up on facemasks. Like Cheryl Cole says, “because you’re worth it”
Express Yourself – Don’t Repress Yourself
It is absolutely vital to have an outlet where you can completely express yourself. You need a space where you can be 100% yourself. You can often find our Tee dancing up a storm in her living room. Her way of expressing herself is “putting on something dutty and have yourself a dance”. It doesn’t have to be something you’re amazing at! As long as you feel like you’re expressing yourself that is the important thing here. So whether it is dancing like our Tee, singing, painting, cooking, creating music, drawing – all of us have something that we can do to express our true self. What activity do you do that makes you feel joyous and alive?
If you’re struggling to find something to express yourself. Think back to your past. Was there something you used to do that you absolutely loved, but it somehow fell to the wayside as adult life got its claws in. Get back into it. Make yourself feel like a kid again!
So, like the famous fridge magnet says, “Dance, like no one is watching…yada yada”.
Celebrate with the girls (Galentines Day)
Get onto your mates and have a zoom date! Remember lockdown 1 when everyone zoomed? Get the drink in and the girls together and have a crack! #galentines optional. Get silly…Get crazy…Play a game, whatever get those fits of giggles going, get on that.
Everyone is missing their pals right now. But there is a way to be together and have the fun you usually do when you meet up in person. Our podcast, What’s Crack was born from such girlie nights. We thought, “we should record this shit!”, and that is just what we did.
Be Kind To Yourself
Give yourself a fucking break! We are in a worldwide pandemic and are living in hard, uncertain times. If your routine is a bit out of wack, if you’ve put on a bit of weight, if you’re day drinking to get through the homeschooling, you need to give yourself a break and stop feeling guilty. We are all struggling right now, we are all out of sorts and eating an entire pack of biscuits in one go… ALL OF US. You’re not on your own with the way you’re feeling. Forgive yourself for not having your shit together, none of us do. If anyone says otherwise they are LYING.
Do An Act of Kindness
I have often thought of the philosophy of giving. Let’s face it even if you’re mother Teressa, part of the reason you give or do something for others is because it just makes us feel good. Do something small or something big for a stranger. Bring shopping to your neighbour that can’t get out. You don’t have to look too far to find someone somewhere that is in need of something you can offer. Here are a few ways you can give yourself the buzz that only comes from doing nice for someone.
- Go shopping for your local food bank
- Adopt a tiger, a donkey or whatever they are advertising on the tele these days
- Bing or send some flowers to a neighbour you know has been stuck in their home
- Pick up a prescription for your sister’s elderly neighbour
- Put a care package together for someone who is forced to quarantine
Try Something New
Trying something new can be a bit daunting can’t it. But let’s be real here, those who have been furloughed who are bored out of their minds now have all the time in the world. Want to kill some boredom? Here’s how. Have a gander!
- Learn a new language. Everyan knows about that app called Duolingo eh? The one with the bird that threatens you if you don’t give it attention.. sounds a lot like some lasses I know! Get yourself fluent for that holiday that you’ve had to rebook 4831 times
- Scope out space and constellations. There’s an app called Star Walk that’s free in ios or if yer on android its second version is free. Just point your phone at the sky and you’ll get a real-time map of stars and constellations. How good is that! I know our Elle will be trying this on her many outdoorsy adventures! (Close to where she calls yam of course)
- Study a new course. Open University will let ya have access to more than 950 courses! It’s all free and you don’t need any entry requirements or start and end dates. If there’s a course that you ever regret not doing.. Well, the time is now. This is the sign you’ve been waiting for. Do it! Do it, do it, do it.
- Sort your shit out! (Around the house). If you’re like me and you’ve watched the whole of Netflix during this pandemic shite, you might have come across a lass called Marie Kondo. She’s the QUEEN of organisation. I’m telling ya, if you don’t have the motivation to tackle the drawer of random shite or your clothes maybe not fit you anymore (you’re not on your own) and you need a sort out but you just can’t be arsed right now? Whack her on Netflix and I bet ya, 10 minutes in and you’ll RUN to sort your shit out.
- Make your own candles! Everybody loves a candle don’t they? ‘Especially lighting one after you’ve had a good clean. Our very own lass Tac has recently started her own business making candles and she’s bloody fab at it! If you make your own they will make good presents for special occasions so it’s win-win folks!